The Very Model of a Writer on the Internet

I'm posting this for friends on various online forums after being on those forums for awhile. It's what I've learned.

I am the very model of an author on the Internet
I can talk for hours to a thousand folks I've never met
I haunt the many forums of those subjects allegorical
Make many stupid statements then deny them categorical
I'm very well acquainted with the Classics and the Biblical
I can speak in Farsi, Greek, and Hebrew (with a parable)
And, like the Major General I'm familiar with hypotenuse
I can start on solid ground and wind up hanging from a noose

ALL:
He talks about hypotenuse until his tongue gets tangled
He doesn't even know the opposite of a right triangle!
He doesn't even know the opposite of a right triangle!

I'm very good at integrating you into my argument
Using multi-syllables as though I knew just what they meant
In short, I'm hoping secretly that my book you'll want to get
I am the very model of an author on the Internet